- police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
- me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
- police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook
so I bought my mom this cup with a hot dude having coffee because my mom is fun and i thought this might like her.
BUT THEN I SERVE MYSELF COFFEE IN IT AND TURNS OUT THAT WHEN THE CUP GETS HOT
THE DUDE LOSES HIS PANTS AND THAT’S COFFEE AND PORN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SORCERY THIS IS!
Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]